The Birmingham City Council is buying a drone. That’s right, a drone.
The purchase is underway for a taxpayer-bought DJI Phantom 3 Advanced Quadcopter with camera and gimbal, complete with three-year warranty. It’ll cost you $1,198.03.
Why does the city council want a drone?
To shoot beautiful soaring video, of course. Even though use of drones for that practice is touchy and in many cases illegal. But hey, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will abide by the rules.
Ha! I’m joking. Because this is the Birmingham City Council.
But here, really, are the top reasons the Birmingham City Council would want to purchase a drone in the first place:
- To distract people while they give themselves another pay raise. “Hey, what’s that up there?” Cha-ching!
- Because – as they prove every Tuesday – they can drone on for hours. And hours and hours and hours.
- Because even Lashunda Scales agrees that Vulcan-to-Air missiles are impractical. Fun, perhaps. But impractical.
- Because … what could go wrong?
- To scout new places for their next extravagant retreat. Or a new spot for the dome we’re already paying for.
- Because those soon-to-be-illegal serial meetings are going to be too hard to pull off. Unless you can pass notes with a drone.
- Because there is as yet no law against Droning Under the Influence.
- So they can finally prove to themselves that they actually control something. (Look out below!)
- Because they have long believed no ship really needs a pilot. Just ask the mayor.
- To constantly bomb household targets with pamphlets describing – on paper paid for by taxpayers – what a marvelous job they are doing. See your city council in action!
- Because it costs only a 10th of what Council President Johnathan Austin paid operative Frank Matthews from discretionary funds last year, and it cusses a whole lot less.
- Because Birmingham residents need something to shoot at besides each other.
- Because those council members are such frequent flyers they are only comfortable with a bird’s eye view.
And finally, the real reason the Birmingham City Council needs to buy its own drone is…
Because it’s only money.
Because it’s only your money.
http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2015/09/birmingham_city_council_buys_a.html